The Karaoke Plan
by NoName-chan
Summary: Due to a carefully planned plot from Allen and Lenalee, Kanda and Lavi find themselves in a horrifying situation. (One-shot; No Pairings, just some semi-Crack)


**NoName-chan: Here's a One-shot I wrote out of boredom ^^  
Allen, Kanda, Lenalee, Lavi: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!  
NoName-chan: AH! *runs for my life* I… *pant* don't… *pant* own… *pant* DGM!**

**_…._**

Lenalee sighed. She was so bored! There weren't any missions right now, so her and her friends, Allen, Lavi, and Kanda, were just lounging around the Black Order Headquarters' library doing NOTHING!

The purple eyed girl sighed again and leaned back against a dusty bookshelf. She attempted to find some amusement in fiddling with a lock of her long dark green hair, but soon found herself bored again and surveyed her surroundings.

Lavi seemed to be the only one enjoying this- he was Bookman Jr., after all. The fiery haired 18-year-old was currently lying on the floor with his face in a rather thick book.

The other 2 teens in the girl's presence, however, appeared to be wishing they were anywhere but there.

Kanda seemed particularly unhappy, but Lenalee wasn't too concerned. He was always like that. The blue haired man was standing in the corner of the large room, glaring at anything that moved.

Allen sat on a wooden chair with his cheek pressed to the surface of the table in front of him. Judging by the albino's dull expression, he was just as bored as Lenalee was.

The teenage girl sighed again. She considered going back to fiddling with her hair when Kanda released a loud "Che."

"This is stupid!" the long haired man growled, clearly irritated. "I'm not going to waste my time in the company of you three nuisances. I'm leaving!" Kanda began to storm off toward the door, but soon found himself flat on the floor.

"OW, YUU! THAT HURT!" Lavi exclaimed, pulling himself from his book long enough to inspect the damage caused when the samurai had tripped over him.

A vein popped in Kanda's forehead. "BAKA USAGI!" he roared, jumping up and unsheathing his katana, Mugen. The redhead yelped and hightailed it out of the library, soon followed by the blue haired man, who was swinging Mugen in an attempt to take the other boy's head off.

Lenalee sighed for a fourth time. "Those two should really learn how to be friends…." She murmured. Suddenly, an idea popped into her head. She looked over at Allen. "Hey, Allen-kun, are you free for the rest of the day?"

Allen perked up at the idea of doing something other than stare at the wall. "Yes, why?"

A devilish grin appeared on Lenalee's face. "Because I have an idea."

**_…._**

Allen was silently laughing in his mind as he sauntered down the long hallway. Although he would admit that he was a bit frightened when he first saw the grin on Lenalee's face, her idea was GENIUS! If everything worked out as planned, the duo would be laughing for months! The white haired boy shook his thoughts away. He couldn't get too far ahead of himself- in order for things to go as planned, there was a job on his part. Allen shuddered. This was incredibly risky! Any number of horrible things could easily go wrong! _'Remember your goal, Allen. Remember your goal,' _he thought as he entered a small room. As expected, the short boy found Kanda training there.

Not a moment after he'd entered the room, Allen found the blade of Mugen between his eyes.

"What do you want, Moyashi?" Kanda growled. "I'm training."

Allen gulped, but then put his part of the plan into action. "Is that really all you can do? Swing an overly sized toothpick around?"

Kanda pressed the blade further so that it almost cut the albino's forehead. "Che. I'll slice you to pieces, Moyashi."

"'Cause that's all you can do. Slice people up. You don't have any actual fighting skills. Wielding a katana is easy!" Allen continued to taunt the swordsman. He forced himself not to tremble. What if Kanda didn't fall for it? What if he just sliced him to pieces instead? Judging by the older man's actions, Allen's fears would soon be reality.

However, luck seemed to be on Allen's side, and Kanda replied with, "Che. If it's so easy, why don't you repeat what I was doing when you barged in here?" The albino barely managed to hold back a smirk.

"Alright! Let me see Mugen and I'll show you!" Kanda, seemingly blind to the trap he was palling into due to his anger, handed the boy the hilt of his katana. Before the older boy even realized what he'd just done, Allen had sprinted out of the room and down the hall. The silver eyed boy couldn't believe his luck! Kanda had fallen for it!

"MOYASHI!" the man's voice roared from behind Allen. _'I better hurry!' _the boy thought frantically. He just severely hoped Lenalee was already in place, or he was a goner.

**_…._**

Lenalee made her way toward the door of Lavi's room. She forced herself not to grin evilly. The violet eyed girl had been delighted when Allen agreed to her idea. Right at that moment, the other puzzle pieces were falling into place. Allen would be tricking Kanda and the others would be setting up. _'I hope Allen-kun doesn't get sliced to pieces…..' _she thought to herself.

Finally, the long haired girl reached the door. It made her a little bit nervous to think about how she planned to carry out her job. _'It's for the sake of the plan, Lenalee.' _With a petite hand, the teen knocked on the door. A few moments later, it was answered by the redhead who occupied the room it led to.

"Lenalee?" Lavi asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Y-yeah," the green haired girl lied with a fake frown of unhappiness. "Can I come in?"

"Uh, sure," Lavi replied, seemingly uncomfortable, then stepped aside to allow the small girl to enter his room. She quickly walked in before he could have any second thoughts. The boy closed the door. "So what's wrong?"

"Well….." Lenalee frantically searched for an idea that would lead the conversation where she needed it. With a mental smile, she found one. "I think Allen's been avoiding me."

The redhead looked baffled. "What? But you guys are best friends! He wouldn't do that!"

"I-I think he might be mad at me for some reason," the girl lied, putting on a façade of sadness.

"What would he be mad at you for?"

Lenalee forced her eyes to well up with fake tears. "I-I don't know."

Lavi's face formed an expression of panic. "D-don't cry, Lenalee! It's okay! I'm sure he's just hungry or something!"

The fake tears began to stream down the young girl's cheeks. She threw herself into the older boy's arms, pretending to cry. The redhead seemed utterly confused and just patted her back awkwardly. Lenalee stood there for a minute or two until she decided to move on to the next step of her trap. She looked up at Lavi with glistening purple eyes and let her lips form a small smile. She reached a hand up and softly stroked his cheeks.

"T-thanks for comforting me, Lavi." The boy turned a hundred different shades of red.

"U-uh, anytime, Lenalee." The girl began to run her fingers through his fluffy crimson hair. Lavi blushed even redder. "L-Lenalee?" he stuttered. Taking advantage of his confusion, Lenalee sprung her trap. She pulled the green headband that the boy always wore off of his head with a grin and bolted from the room.

The redhead stood there, dumbstruck, for a few moments before the realization of what Lenalee had just done sunk in. "HEY!" he yelled after the green haired girl, who was sprinting away giggling. "GIVE ME BACK MY LUCKY HEADBAND!"

The purple eyed teen smirked as the boy began to chase after her. _'All according to plan…..' _she thought to herself. _'I hope the others are already in position.' _Lenalee kept running until she reached the cafeteria.

**_…._**

"Why do you think Allen and Lenalee called us all here?" a Finder asked.

"I don't know, but it must be pretty important for them to call everybody at Headquarters to the Cafeteria," another replied.

A third spoke up. "I have a bad feeling about this. The only people who aren't here are those two, Kanda, and Lavi. I think Allen and Lenalee are planning something bad."

The first seemed to ponder this. "You could be right. After all, they ARE kids. They also set up a karaoke machine in here. This is a bit suspicious…"

Suddenly, the three finders' conversation was interrupted as the two teens burst into the room. Allen was holding Kanda's katana, Mugen, and Lenalee was holding Lavi's special headband. Both teens hurriedly stashed the objects behind the counter where their chef, Jeryy, worked and sat down at an empty table. Not a second after the two had taken their seats, Kanda and Lavi sprinted into the room, fuming.

"MOYASHI!" Kanda roared.

"Give me back my headband, Lenalee!" Lavi exclaimed. Lenalee and Allen grinned at each other.

"We'll give you back your stuff after you do something for us."

"… And what is that?" Lavi questioned nervously. The Finders all gaped in shock as they realized what the grinning teens were planning.

"Oh, nothing much," Allen answered with a wide grin. "Just sing a little song for us."

**_…._**

Kanda and Lavi were both shocked and angry to find that they had been set up. Nonetheless, they desperately wanted their items back, so they agreed to the other teens' terms. Lenalee and Allen grinned evilly and led the two 18-year-olds over to the karaoke machine. Lavi and Kanda were each handed a microphone.

"Alright," Lenalee began. "The words to the song will appear on the screen. Lavi, the words for you to sing will be in red, and, Kanda, the words for you to sing will be in blue. Have fun!" She grinned once again, and both her and Allen took their seats. Only then did the two men realize how many people were in the cafeteria, staring at them, and got a very bad feeling.

Music began to play, and the two victims' eyes widened in horror when they realized what song they were about to sing. Others realized it, too, and snickers began to sound throughout the room. The song title appeared on the screen. ""Best Friend" by Toy-Box." Lyrics began to show up as well, and the boys began to sing.

Kanda began, looking murderous.  
"WHO HA! WHO HA!"

"Na nana nana nananananana!" Lavi sang, beginning to blush furiously out of embarrassment.  
"Na nana nana nananananana!  
Have you ever been in love?"

"HUAH!"

"He's my best friend!  
Best of all best friends!  
Do you have a best friend, too?  
It tickles in my tummy!  
He's so yummy yummy!  
Hey, you should get a best friend, too!"

"WHO HA! WHO HA!"

"Hello, baby! Can I see a smile?"

"I'm going to a party and it's gonna be wild!"

"Okay!  
Can I come? I am sitting alone."

"No, friends are never alone."

"That's right!  
Maybe, some pretty girls are in your world.  
Excuse me?  
I could also be your girl.  
Lately, everyone is making fun!  
Na nana nana nananananana!"

"HUAH!"

"He's my best friend!  
Best of all best friends!  
Do you have a best friend, too?  
It tickles in my tummy!  
He's so yummy yummy!  
Hey, you should get a best friend, too!"

"My best friend!  
WHO HA! WHO HA!  
WHO HA! WHO HA!"

"Na nana nana nananananana!"

"WHO HA! WHO HA!"

"Aloha, baby! Let's go to the beach!"

"Yeah, girls in bikini are waiting for me!"

"Uh huh!  
But, I was hoping for a summer romance!"

"So why can't you take a chance?"

"Okay!  
Maybe, some pretty girls are in your world.  
Excuse me?  
I could also be your girl.  
Lately, everyone is making fun!  
Na nana nana nananananana!"

"HUAH!"

"He's my best friend!  
Best of all best friends!  
Do you have a best friend, too?  
It tickles in my tummy!  
He's so yummy yummy!  
Hey, you should get a best friend, too!"

"My best friend!  
WHO HA! WHO HA!  
WHO HA! WHO HA!"

"Who ha! Who ha!  
Na nana nana nananananana!  
Maybe, some pretty girls are in your world.  
Excuse me?  
I could also be your girl.  
Lately, everyone is making fun!"

"Let's get this party on!  
Hit me with that laser gun!"

"Oo whoa oh!  
Come on, boys!"

"WHO HA! WHO HA!"

"Oo whoa oh!  
You should get a best friend, too!  
He's my best friend!  
Best of all best friends!  
Do you have a best friend, too?  
It tickles in my tummy!  
He's so yummy yummy!  
Hey, you should get a best friend, too!"

"My best friend!  
WHO HA! WHO HA!  
WHO HA! WHO HA!"

"He's SO sweet!  
Na nana nana nananananana!"

The song finally ended, and the entire cafeteria erupted into laughter. Kanda was ready to kill someone, and was about to, when Lavi piped up.

"Hey, wait! I have an idea," he said with a childish grin. Kanda stared at the redhead skeptically.

"What?"

Mischief glittered in Lavi's one emerald green eye. "How about we give Allen and Lenalee a taste of their own medicine?" Kanda caught on and smirked. Lavi whispered something in his ear, and the man nodded.

The blue haired man held the microphone to his mouth as the redhead began tinkering with the karaoke machine.

Kanda glanced over at Allen and Lenalee, who were in tears laughing, then spoke. "And now, everyone, and song from Allen and Lenalee!" The two teens immediately stopped laughing and looked at Kanda in confusion. However, much to the samurai's advantage, the entire cafeteria looked at them expectantly. Allen gulped.

"W-what?" Lenalee stuttered. "We're not-"

Suddenly, everyone but the two bewildered teens began chanting, "SING! SING! SING! SING!" Under the pressure of everybody at Headquarters, the duo had no choice but to walk up to the machine.

Kanda and Lavi handed their microphones over to Lenalee and Allen.

**_…._**

Allen and Lenalee were shocked by the sudden turn of events. They'd never expected for Kanda and Lavi to get revenge like this! However, the two were pressured by all of Headquarters, so all they could do was sigh in defeat.

"The words in gray are for Allen, and the words in green are for Lenalee," Lavi explained before he and Lavi took their seats. The music began to play, and Allen and Lenalee paled as they realized what song it was. The title appeared on the screen. ""Candy Shop" by 50 Cent." The two teens immediately realized the full intentions of the 18-year-olds' payback. Nonetheless, they began to sing.

Allen began, sweating nervously.  
"Yeah. Uh huh. So seductive.  
I'll take you to the Candy Shop.  
I'll let you lick the lollipop.  
Go 'head, girl, don't you stop.  
Keep going 'til you hit the spot.  
Whoa!"

Lenalee gulped and sang.  
"I'll take you to the Candy Shop.  
Boy, one taste of what I got.  
I'll have you spending all you got.  
Keep going 'till you hit the spot.  
Whoa!"

"You can have it your way.  
How do you want it?  
You gon' back that thing up, or should I push up on it?  
Temperature rising.  
Okay! Let's go to the next level.  
Dance floor jam packed.  
Hot as a teakettle.  
I'll break it down for you now.  
Baby, it's simple.  
If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho.  
In the hotel or in the back of the rental.  
On the beach or in the park.  
It's whatever you into.  
Got that magic stick.  
I'm the love doctor.  
Got your friends teasing you 'bout how sprung I gotcha.  
Wanna show me how you work it?  
Baby, no problem.  
Get on top then get to bouncing round like a low rider.  
I'm a seasons vet when it comes to this shit.  
After you work up a sweat, you can play with the stick.  
I'm trying to explain, baby, best way I can.  
I melt in your mouth, girl,  
not in your hands.  
Ha ha!  
I'll take you to the Candy Shop.  
I'll let you lick the lollipop.  
Go 'head, girl, don't you stop.  
Keep going 'til you hit the spot.  
Whoa!"

"I'll take you to the Candy Shop.  
Boy, one taste of what I got.  
I'll have you spending all you got.  
Keep going 'till you hit the spot.  
Whoa!"

"Girl, what we do."

"What we do!"

"And where we do."

"And where we do!"

"The things we do."

"Things we do!"

"Are just between me and you."

"Oh yeah!"

"Give it to me, baby.  
Nice and slow.  
Climb on top.  
Ride like you in the rodeo.  
You ain't never heard a sound like this before,  
'cause I ain't never put it down like this before.  
Soon as I come through the door,  
she get to pulling on my zipper.  
It's like it's a race who can get undressed quicker.  
Isn't it ironic how erotic it is to watch 'em in thongs?  
Had me thinking 'bout that ass after I'm gone.  
I touch the right spot at the right time.  
Lights on or lights off,  
she like it from behind.  
So seductive.  
You should see the way she wind.  
Her hips in slow-mo on the floor when we grind.  
As long as she ain't stopping,  
Homie, I ain't stopping.  
Dripping wet with sweat.  
Man, it's on and popping.  
All my champagne campaign,  
bottle after bottle, it's on.  
And we gon' sip 'til every bubble in every bottle is gone.  
I'll take you to the Candy Shop.  
I'll let you lick the lollipop.  
Go 'head, girl, don't you stop.  
Keep going 'til you hit the spot.  
Whoa!"

"I'll take you to the Candy Shop.  
Boy, one taste of what I got.  
I'll have you spending all you got.  
Keep going 'till you hit the spot.  
Whoa!"

"I'll take you to the Candy Shop.  
I'll let you lick the lollipop.  
Go 'head, girl, don't you stop.  
Keep going 'til you hit the spot.  
Whoa!"

"I'll take you to the Candy Shop.  
Boy, one taste of what I got.  
I'll have you spending all you got.  
Keep going 'till you hit the spot.  
Whoa!"

The music faded out, and everyone but Lavi and Kanda gaped at Allen and Lenalee, who blushed furiously. A few members of the audience had even let their imaginations go wild and were unconscious from nosebleeds.

An eerie voice broke the vast silence.

"Allen Walker…."

Allen immediately sprinted out of the room, screaming, as Komui chased him with a large gun.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU FILTHY OCTOPUS!" the purple haired man roared. "HOW DARE YOU DEFILE MY PRECIOUS LENALEE?!"

By this point, Lenalee had started chasing after her older brother to stop him from killing Allen. "WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" she screamed. "IT WAS JUST A SONG!" Meanwhile, Kanda and Lavi remained in the cafeteria, Kanda smirking, and Lavi laughing like there was no tomorrow.

The chase continued for the rest of the day until Lenalee finally managed to stop Komui. From that day on, Allen and Lenalee swore that they'd never trick Lavi and Kanda into doing something so embarrassing ever again.

**_…._**

**NoName-chan: And there you have it! As for the songs, you can find them on YouTube or something. At first, I was just going to have Lavi and Kanda sing "Best Friend" to embarrass them then be done with it, but then figured, "Oh why not?" and made Allen and Lenalee sing the dirtiest song I know for the added benefit of a Komui Freakout. But, nonetheless, I hoped you liked it!  
Miranda: *Opens door* Huh? NoName-chan, what are you doing in the closet?  
NoName-chan: SSSSSHHHHHH! THEY'LL FIND ME!  
Lavi: THERE SHE IS!  
Allen: GET HER!  
NoName-chan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs for my life*  
Allen, Lenalee, Lavi, Kanda: *Chase me with pitchforks, torches, and baseball bats***


End file.
